
It’s almost a year to the day since we first came to the Cotswolds. The day after August Bank Holiday Monday to be precise. And this Bank Holiday Monday, we’ll be leaving. First to Wales for a camping trip then to the Isle of Wight for some family time by the sea. And then……???
Even though the future isn’t particularly clear just now, I feel at peace. And glad to be ending well here. This past week I finished my job at Style Acre in Banbury. Almost 10 months to the day. A longer stint than expected given that our original plan was only to be here til March.

I’m glad we’ve stayed longer though. Glad to have had the time to really get into the job, get to know people and learn so much too. I’ve come away with a far greater understanding and appreciation of care/supported living work. The big picture and the nitty gritty. What a skilled job it is and how much it requires of you.
Each time I went in, I never knew what to expect. So much was a case of improvising and going with the flow. Something I’m used to and would say I’m good at but within the context of a care environment, you’re never off duty. Always alert, always ready for whatever, thinking about the person you’re supporting at the time, constantly making judgements about how much to support and when to stand back, thinking about those you need to attend to later, making sure they get their meds on time, dealing with sudden outbursts, receiving sudden hugs, liasing with colleagues on the same shift, all of us having our different approaches and ways of dealing with things.
It's been quite an eye-opener anyway and I’ve nowt but respect for all those I’ve worked with. As well as fondness for those I’ve helped support/be more independent who have taught me loads too.
When I left the building on Monday it was like leaving a moving ship. People were sad to see me go but life was going on in the midst of the goodbyes. The manager dashing off for a meeting, colleagues coming in for the next shift, a karaoke event planned for that evening, Lara and Sue excited to be going early to help on the reception desk.

It was lovely to see Gav waiting outside for me and to walk round the corner to a pub. For a pint and some food. I didn’t look back. I felt sad to be going but relieved too. The timing of it all just felt right and it was a good end. Time now for the new.
Having said that, I’ve just read what I’ve written so far to Gav and cried! Didn’t think it would have that effect on me. The bit where I’ve said what a skilled job it is and how much it requires of you. That’s just set me off. Many times I had to dig deep to find enough grace and compassion to deal with a situation, both with staff and those I supported, when I just felt knackered. Especially near the end of a double shift with a sleepover in the middle.

As much as I enjoyed the fun parts of it – trips to cafes, art centres, bowling, watching the Women’s World Cup with Lara on the huge communal telly, visiting Oxford with Sue and a wildlife park with one and all – it was tiring. And I wasn’t as creative as I’d hoped to be on my days off. So in that sense I’m glad to be moving on now. Glad for the new season ahead. For time and space to give to things that have been on the back-burner for a while now.
I always think that if you end well, you can move on well. Something I’ve learnt mostly from my mistakes. Times when I’ve been too eager to move on or too angry and upset, just wanting to leave and be free of whatever. This isn’t one of those times but it’s good to be finishing well in terms of feeling the feelings that come with goodbyes and letting go.

One thing we’ve done together that has helped us both is make a cairn from stones I’ve painted and collected since we’ve been here. Mainly from our travels to Somerset at the New Year and Scotland over Easter. The other night we found a place in the trees to remember all the people who’ve been with us on our journey so far.
With each stone laid we prayed a prayer of thanks and blessing, for friends, family, colleagues and for Lucille and Willoughby Wendy. Our two homes that have brought us real joy and contentment. That they will bring JOY to their new owners. And that as we let go and continue to hold things lightly, new things will come that will continue to bring joy, to us and all those we meet on the road ahead.
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